obviously

so...obviously I've been on hiatus.  texting random phrases from my phone in place of real posts (still promise to go back and fill them in!).
since tonight is practice night for my husband (poor guy though - was anyone outside today?  it was like, 100 degrees with 80% humidity.  have I mentioned that he installs windows and doors and that his office/truck is broken and he doesn't even have air conditioning but that he's too busy to take it to the shop to fix?) I thought it was really a good idea to crack open my bible because it hasn't been touched for two weeks.
well when I opened it to the book marked page (realizing / silly enough / that my pristine bible was finally coffee stained / I feel a small sense of accomplishment that I haven't put it on a shelf out of the way of wind, rain and caffeinated beverages but that it is still being hauled back and forth every day in my tote) what title stares me in the face?  ecclesiastes 1:1 EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS
and how does this make me feel?  a great bit more overwhelmed.  unlike my recent therapy sessions or drawing lessons:  instead of feeling the smoke exhale I just feel the tears bottle up.  and they aren't tears that come spilling out but they are tears that sit in the corners of my eyes and make my vision blurry.
oh wait look!  I got tears on the last page of proverbs right next to the coffee ring.  this will surely make me cry more.

although I suppose that's the good thing.  no use letting the salty water collect.  I'm sure it will feel better when my whole life manages to roll down my dirty cheeks (today's post was going to be about how I was giving up personal hygiene for my blog...).